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Please Stop Saying That

If I hear one more person preface a statement with the words, “At the end of the day,” I think I will blow my brains out. Or theirs.

For me, those words are like fingernails on a chalkboard. And it seems like everybody is using that phrase today, particularly all those questionable experts on TV news shows. There are at least a dozen or more “At the end of the day” statements made every day on CNN and Fox News.

Saying those words does not make you smarter. And they don’t make whatever words you say after them necessarily true or valid.

Why not just preface your statement by saying, “I’m about to tell you something, and it is absolutely correct, and you can’t question it, because it’s going to be the truth all day until the end of the day when you go to bed.”

Bullshit. What you say early in the day does not become more true at the end of the day. Sundown does not increase the validity of a statement or an observation.

I first heard that phrase from John Neilson, a club executive and marketing pro, who worked for a large nightclub chain. It didn’t sound bad coming from him because he has a British accent. A British accents makes everything sound clever and important.

Then I heard other people using it. And I thought, “Hey, you’re not British.”

Now everyone says it. Please stop.

Dishonorable mentions for “At the end of the day” include “all in all” and “bottom line.” They are both just as egregious but don’t stir up my ire as much.

Moving on, can everyone also please stop saying that something “is in your wheelhouse.”

A wheelhouse is that area that a pitched baseball comes into when you are a batter and the ball is right where you want it so you can hit it. I had to look that one up. For some reason I thought a wheelhouse was that little shack the tugboat operator stands in on the deck of the tugboat to steer it.

You are not a baseball player. Or a tugboat operator. You do not have a wheelhouse. So please stop.

Here’s another one that bugs the hell out of me.

“Truthfully speaking.”

Why does anyone start or end a sentence with those two words? Does that mean every other time they roll out a sentence absent of those two words, they are lying?

Why not just say, “Normally I outright lie to you every time I open my mouth, but right now, at this precise moment, I am going to tell you something, and this time it will be the truth.”

Prefacing a statement with the words “honestly” or “actually” or “basically” or “essentially” is just a shorter way to say “truthfully speaking.” So not only are you language challenged, you’re also lazy, choosing to use one word instead of two.

The same argument against people saying “truthfully speaking” can be used for that condescending phrase, “with all due respect.”

Does that mean statements you make that don’t include those words are made with no respect for the person to whom you are speaking? The “respect” phrase is also distasteful because it goes a step further and suggests that since you are respecting my opinion, it will be disrespectful of me if I do not show you the same courtesy and agree with whatever you are saying.

Saying “with all due respect” is just as bad as starting a sentence with “no offense, but.”

You had me—offended that is—at “no offense,” and when you added the “but” at the end, that made it even worse.

Some phrases are just so ludicrous that it seems ridiculous to have to detail why they are, like “believe you me.”

What did you just say? Are you in the third grade? Do you not know how to speak proper English? You are asking me to believe something you are about to say and in just three words you’ve told me how low your intelligence bar is set. So, any words that come after the words “believe you me” are going to be highly suspect.

One last one.

“Think outside the box.”

No. I won’t.

So, please stop.

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